Ever since I got rid of most of my belongings when I left the mold my style has suffered. I went from fun and funky to nothing but basics.
This is slightly hilarious because I quite literally work in the world of styling professionally. This is what I did full time for four years and now do part time! And yet, snooze fest over here in the closet department.
I think 2020 made me numb and the mold experience in 2021 put the nail in the coffin of my eclectic nature.
Finally, literally years later, I am building anew.
At first I thought I needed to regain my old essence of style. I’d look at old pictures of myself and think about how fun the don’t give a fuck nature of her style was. Jealous of my past self! I looked to create that again. That’s what I tried to do last year actually. We always like to default back to things that we are comfortable with or things that are familiar to us. That’s exactly what I tried to do and then I was all, “what the heck?!?” when it didn’t work.
It didn’t feel right when I would buy pieces that were similar to ones of the past. I would try them on at the store or bring them home only to realize that they just weren’t me. Why was that?
After a bit of reflection (a bit meaning thinking about it here and there for months) I realized I am not resonating with that style any longer. Of course I’m not! We’re always changing, growing, shifting, evolving. Why would I expect to have the same style as my five years ago self? Followed with the even bigger question, what am I now?
See, the previous years I have been the one walking around in basics. Black tee, black jeans, black shoes. A flannel if it’s chilly. Rinse and repeat. And while I still love all of that and there is nothing wrong with it, I am ready for more. I want to take it up a notch again.
I very much believe our style can reflect our inner nature. When I was going through the dark period of 2020-2022 I was wearing basics. I wasn’t feeling well and I was stressed. Simplicity was easy for me. Necessary, actually. Coming out on the other side and craving a refresh, my beliefs that this is all connected are confirmed.
To get even deeper with this, around the 2020-2022 era I also switched up the type of social media content I consumed.
I very much went from yoga, spirituality, and food content to conspiracy theories, natural living, toxins/living low-tox, and things like that.
There is a huge difference in those types of content and as I have been exploring in past posts, I believe our social media consumption shapes us in some crazy ways. I also still wear Lululemon and other styles “riddled with PFAS because I like to live wild… or maybe I just don’t like to live in fear or workout in cotton. But that’s a topic for another time.
When I got bored of the basics I continuously was/am wearing I reflected on the styles of people I was following online over the past few years to realize that they’re wearing similar things as well. It reminds me of Sweatpants Culture. If we aren’t truly secure and confident in who we are then we tend to try fitting in when it comes to things like our style. It’s the nature of being human, especially in the modern world.
It’s not that I enjoy standing out. It’s just that I like to do things differently. I like creativity. We don’t need another monochromatic sweatsuit and chunky 90s inspired dad sneakers type of look. I see that enough. I want to see something that gets my attention and helps me to realize what new and different things are possible. Style can be a direct reflection of the creativity spiraling around in your mind. I like to see the inner workings of others minds and I like to see it through the clothes that we wear each day.
Clothing is just an example because it’s something I’m going through at the moment. But you could implement this thought process into any aspect of life.
What it comes down to is questioning if it is coming from you or if it is coming from influence.
Sure, we will all be influenced in one way or another. After all, Everything Is A Remix. I just can’t help but to wonder if what was once a remix has become more of a copy and paste situation in the era of social media.
There is really no need to be creative anymore. I don’t mean that literally. I think we have a deep need within us all to be creative and when we don’t act on it and scroll our faces off instead that contributes to unhappiness and general feelings of unease. We can one-click buy that sweater someone shared on Instagram and have it to our house in two days. Back in the day we had to go try to find it at the store, if we even had that store near us. If not, we could use creativity to find a similar style or perhaps find a new one that we liked better. In many ways we have overridden that creative nature that had us remixing and creating in such revolutionary ways throughout the times.
Now it just feels like so much is the same. It’s all rinse and repeat when we’re craving more.
And that’s what it comes down to with style for me. I am craving more.
I think we all are in a lot of ways.
While we can’t change the world in an instant, style is something that we can change quite easily. It’s something that can make your day a bit brighter and even brighten up things for those around you. It taps you into your creativity each day and could just inspire someone else to step out and get a bit more creative with their clothing too.
As I type this I keep thinking how this topic isn’t really that deep and while I recognize that, I also think that it can make an impact on us in more ways than we give it credit. To look good is to feel good and when the process of putting together an outfit sparks creativity and confidence, you will most certainly go out into the world with a different energy than if you rolled up to dinner in sweatpants and a hoodie.
Effort matters. Your energy will be influenced. Instead of primarily being influenced by others (who probably make a commission off if that influence) what if you can begin to pull from influence inside of yourself? Find things you truly love and put effort into them. Then you can walk into the world in a way that is new and totally you.
THIS WEEKS OFFERINGS
Thank you for naming this! There is something within your experience that reminds me of me, too. Looking back at my style in 2017, I was self-assured and taking risks and having fun and investing in my style. I worked as a full-time stylist at the time so it felt like a pre-requisite somehow. Of course, I don't want to go back, though I definitely miss the ease of style that was present. Just trying to remember that I have the map to style inside somewhere and will find my way back. Trust that you will too!
PS: Your mold story is HARROWING!